From pain. The soul of your loved one stands next to you andis shaken by your heartbreak. Do you know that Saint Porphyrios, with his unique gift of insight, revealed a shocking spiritual reality
that your despair does not only hurt you but literally burns the soul
that has just left the body. Today we will open the curtain of the invisible
world. We will see what exactly happens in the first 40 days after a person's death
. How our own reactions affect their path
to the light and how we can, instead of becoming an obstacle, become a bridge to
their rest. If you think that crying is the only proof of love,
get ready to reconsider everything. There is another, stronger path
that the saint taught us and it begins now. When death knocks on the door
of a family, time stops. Logic is paralyzed and emotion
dominates, it is the most difficult moment of human existence. However, Saint
Porphyrios of Kavsokalyvetis, this modern luminary of
Orthodoxy, saw death with eyes completely different from ours. He did not
see it as an end, but as a transition, a transition from the
imperishable to the imperishable. The problem, as he often emphasized, is not the departure of the
soul, but the ignorance of the living about what is really happening in those
crucial hours and days. The Saint explained to us that once the soul leaves the
body, it does not lose its consciousness. On the contrary, consciousness becomes
clearer, sharper and infinitely more sensitive. Think of it as removing
a heavy veil. As long as we are bound to the body, our senses are
limited. But when the body is set aside, the soul
sees and feels everything with an intensity that we cannot imagine.
She sees the angels, she sees the demons, but she also sees us. She sees
her relatives, her children, her parents. And most importantly, she doesn't
just see our faces. She sees our hearts. She sees our spiritual
state and this is exactly where Saint Porphyrios was ringing the
alarm bell. There is a fundamental spiritual principle that we must
is tuned to specific stations, so the soul of the deceased is
tuned to the souls of the people he loved on earth.
This bond is not cut by the knife of death. It remains active, especially
during the first 40 days, where the soul travels to the places it lived
, emotions and spiritual states are transmitted . So here comes the great
revelation of the Saint. When we cry out loud, when we shout, when we are beaten
and refuse to accept the will of God, we emit waves of turmoil, anguish
and uncertainty. These waves hit the soul of the deceased like a storm.
Imagine someone trying to cross a narrow bridge over a
cliff and you behind him shouting and shaking the bridge. This is
what we do with excessive worldly mourning. The Saint said characteristically, the soul
wants to leave, to go to the Lord, to find rest, but our own suffering
holds it back, weighs it down, makes it suffer doubly, it suffers for
its own judgment, but it also suffers for our own pain that it sees and
can no longer comfort us with words. But let us look at a shocking story.
transmitted by the tradition of the Saint's disciples, which illuminates this
truth in a breathtaking way. Once , a woman dressed in black
visited Elder Porphyrios. She was a mother who had lost
her son at a young age, in a sudden accident.
This woman was alive, dead. Months had passed and she spent
most of the day in the cemetery over the grave, crying
and shouting the name of her child. She did not eat, did not sleep and had fallen
into a complete depression, considering that this was the only way to honor the
memory of her son. She believed that if she stopped crying it would be as if
she were forgetting him, as if she were betraying him. Saint Porphyrios looked at her with that
look that pierced the soul and reached to the bone. He did not tell her the
usual words of comfort. He told her something that shook her. Because even in
"Your child," he asked her sternly but also with immense love. The woman was stunned. "
I, the old man," he whispered. "I who give my life on his grave. I who love him
more than myself." Then the saint revealed to her what he saw with
his spiritual eyes. At that moment he said to her, "The soul of your child is
here. I see him. He is standing next to you and trying to speak to you. He is telling you,
mother, please stop. Your pain becomes a fire that engulfs me. You do not
let me move forward. You do not let me rejoice in the light of Christ. Your sadness
is like a fog that suffocates me. I want you to pray for me, not to
despair for you." The woman collapsed not from pain this time,
but from the realization of the truth. The Saint explained to her that what
she called love was in reality a selfish
pain. She was crying for her loss, for her own loneliness, for her own
emptiness. She was not crying for the soul of her child. If she really cared for
his soul, she would do what the soul needs, prayer, alms, the Divine
Liturgy. This incident leads us to the core of the teaching of
Saint Porphyrios on mourning. The Saint made a clear distinction between the sorrow
of the world and the sorrow according to God. The sorrow of the world is what
most of us experience. It is despair. The feeling of injustice, the why to me
, my God, anger, the denial of life. This sorrow, according to the apostle
Paul, but also Saint Porphyrios, works death. It brings spiritual
death to us and difficulty to the soul of the deceased. On the contrary, the sorrow according to
God is the joyful sorrow. It is the pain that has hope in it. It is the prayer of tears
and not during panic. When we pray for our deceased,
deceased feels coolness. The saint said that prayer is like sending
packages of food and water to a prisoner or to a traveler in
a deserted place. Every Lord have mercy is a drop of
dew that comforts the soul. Imagine the difference. On the one hand,
the soul sees the mother, the father, the husband blaspheming the hour and the
moment they fall ill from sadness. This causes the soul guilt and
sorrow. On the other hand, imagine the soul seeing its beloved
Galenios standing before the icon, lighting the lamp and
saying, "My God, their soul in your hands. We ache because we miss them. But
we trust in your love. This attitude sends light, makes the soul
leap with joy because it feels that its family is safe under the
shelter of God and thus it can itself be left in his arms. Saint
Porphyrios constantly emphasized that we should not be emotional in the
worldly sense, but spiritual. Emotion is unstable and often
blind. The Spirit sees eternity. When we cry hysterically, it is as if we are telling
God you made a mistake. You shouldn't have taken him. I know better than you.
This attitude is blasphemy, even if it is unconscious. And the soul of the deceased, who
now sees God's truth, is clearly frightened by our boldness and
our smallness. In fact, the elder gave very specific instructions. on how
we should behave especially in the first 40 days. He said that this
period is like a period of adjustment and examination. The soul goes
through the so-called customs, is examined for its actions and wanders. In this
critical period. Our own attitude is decisive. Instead of spending
our energy on black clothes and social mourning events that
concern what the world will say, we must all direct our energy to
spiritual support. Let us delve a little deeper into what the saint
called the secret of the 40 days. Many people think that the memorial service is simply
a ceremony to remember the deceased. For Saint Porphyrios, the memorial service and
prayer are a legal and spiritual intervention. He said that God is moved
by the love of the living. When he sees that we who are left behind, instead of
looking at our own well-being, kneel and pray for our departed brother
, then God gives grace to him even when he is asleep. Even if he had not
before he has time to repent fully. Our love becomes his ticket, but
be careful, the love expressed in prayer, not the love expressed in
hysteria. It is shocking to think how great a responsibility we have. We
think we are the victims of death, but in reality
we are the lawyers of the soul. And what kind of lawyer is he who, instead of
defending his client in front of the Cretan, starts screaming and
accusing the court. We lose the case. Saint Porphyrios calls us to
become wise defenders, to turn our tears into incense.
I remember another case that one of his spiritual children had told.
A father died and left behind a daughter who was very close to him.
This girl had fallen into a deep melancholy. The saint called her because,
as is known, he used the telephone a lot to comfort and
guide. And he said to her, "Maria, your father is very well. He is in
the light but he has a complaint." He says to me, "Tell Maria to turn on the light in
her room. The darkness that she has inside hides my view of Christ."
The girl understood, got up, washed, opened the windows, lit the lamp and
began to read the psalter. The next time she spoke to the elder,
he told her happily, "Now indeed. Now your father is smiling.
Now he is really communicating. So you see that communication does not
stop. It simply changes frequency. From physical communication we pass to
spiritual and the means for this communication is not a mobile
phone, nor a photo in a frame, but heartfelt prayer and the divine
service. The Saint insisted a lot on the subject of the divine service. He said that the
day that goes out to the altar for the deceased and enters the
holy chalice, into the blood of Christ, is the greatest benefit
we can do. At that moment, the blood of the Lord washes away sins and
gives rest that no human word can describe. But to
reach this level of spiritual encounter we must overcome
ourselves. We must overcome the worldly mentality that
society has instilled in us. Society tells us to mourn for a long time. Black, shut yourself in your house. Show how much
you hurt. Christ and the saints tell us, "Come, death has been trampled.
Pray. Have mercy in the name of the deceased. Almsgiving is the second
great key after prayer. Saint Porphyrios used to say, "Give a glass of water to
a thirsty person and tell about the soul of so-and-so." At that moment, the angel of the
dead takes this act and takes it to the throne of God as a mitigating factor.
It is terrible if we think about it. We have in our hands the power to
change the situation of our deceased loved ones and we waste it
on tears of despair. The saint does not forbid us to cry. Christ himself
wept for Lazarus, but he wept calmly, silently. He did not scream,
he did not despair. The human tear of pain is acceptable. It is the tear of
despair and unbelief that burns. We must learn to distinguish
between these two. Think of the soul as a small child who has just woken up in an
unfamiliar room. He is looking for something familiar. If he sees his parents are calm and
smile, it calms down too. If he sees them shouting and crying
in panic, the child is terrified. This is exactly how the soul feels. Our calm
is its security. Our trust in God is its compass. And now
you may be wondering, all this is fine, elder, but how can I find the strength to do these things in my pain
, how can I stop crying when my heart
is bleeding? It is a completely logical question. Saint Porphyrios was not a theorist.
He was a practical doctor of souls. That is why he left us specific medicines,
specific practical habits so that we can turn
our mourning from a curse into a blessing. There are five specific spiritual
habits that the Saint suggested for periods of Great Mourning and three
specific points in the home that we must pay attention to in order to
create the appropriate atmosphere of peace that will help both us and the
soul that sees everything. If you follow these steps, you will see
not only will your pain ease, but you will feel an incredible certainty that
your person is well, that he feels you and is grateful to you.
But what are these five steps and what is the biggest mistake
we all make at night before going to sleep, which disturbs
our sleep, but also the soul of our loved one. So let's start with the three
points inside the house. Saint Porphyrios emphasized that our environment affects
our soul and the state of our soul affects the soul of the deceased.
Everything is a communicating vessel. The first point is the iconostasis. After the death of a loved one, many of us turn the iconostasis
into a photo album of mourning. We put the photo of the deceased in front of the
image of Christ. This is wrong, the elder said. The photo should
be discreetly to the side. Christ and the
Virgin Mary should dominate the center. Because we want our gaze to fall on the risen Lord, on the
source of life and not on the memory of death. When you look at Christ,
you receive hope and send it to the deceased. When you only look at the
photo, you recycle your sadness and send burden, the lamp on the
iconostasis must burn unceasingly. The Saint said that the light of the Candile
symbolizes the light we ask for for the soul of our person. It is a silent
prayer that lasts 24 hours. The second point and perhaps the most crucial
is the bedroom at night. This is where the big mistake I mentioned
earlier occurs. At night when the lights go out and we lie down. It is the time when the
devil attacks us with thoughts of despair.
I will never see him again, how will I live without her. Because my God, these thoughts
in the darkness become black clouds that drown our soul. Saint
Porphyrios was upright. We should never sleep with tears of despair. The
last thought before falling asleep should not be the why but
remembering it. Lord, our pillow should not be watered with tears of complaint but
with tears of prayer. If we sleep with the prayer, Lord Jesus Christ, rest
your servant, then our sleep will also be peaceful. Oh, and the soul of
our loved one will feel a spiritual coolness, a visit of love in the
night. The third point is the place where the deceased was sitting. His armchair
, his desk, his place at the table. Usually, seeing the empty
chair, we collapse. The elder urges us to change our perspective, to
see the empty place not as a void, but as an altar. Well, every time
our gaze falls there and we hurt, let us immediately say, My God, this pain that
I feel now for his absence, make it a balm for his soul. We transform
the object that causes us pain into a tool of salvation. Don't let
his things become museum pieces already. that gather dust and sadness. Use
them or donate them so that they can find a place and become a memorial. So after
we have arranged our space and our nightly mood, we move on to the
five spiritual habits, the medicines that the Saint suggested so that we can heal
ourselves and the deceased can rest. The first habit is the spiritual
breakfast. Before we drink our coffee, before we turn on the TV or the cell phone,
we dedicate the first 5 minutes of the day to them. Not with crying, but with the
rosary. We recite the rosary three times a hundred times, saying exclusively, "Lord Jesus Christ, rest the soul of your servant."
That's it. The Saint said that morning prayer has great power, because the
mind is still clear. rested and has not been burdened with the worries
of the day. It is as if we send our good morning to heaven in the most
direct way. The second habit is reading the psalm. I mentioned it to you
earlier, but it is important to see how. We do not need to be
theologians. Saint Porphyry advised us to read at least one sitting, a
small section of the psalms of David daily. He said characteristically, the psalms are the medicine that drives away melancholy and attracts the angels.
When we read the psalter for the repose of the soul, the demons that try
to frighten the soul on its journey to heaven flee.
It is as if we provide spiritual escort, a guard for our person.
And at the same time, David's word sweetens our own aching heart. The
do something good every day in the name of the deceased, but let no one know about it.
To leave a bag of food for a poor family. To pay for
a grandmother's medicine at the pharmacy. To give water to an animal. and while
we do it, to speak secrets about the soul of my father, my mother,
my child. This act has enormous value because it has no novelty in it.
It is pure love. The saint used to say that these small secret acts are the
diamonds that adorn the robe of the soul in the other world. The fourth
enough to go to a propsal once. Saint Porphyrios emphasized the need,
as soon as a person leaves this life, to write his name so that he may be
commemorated for 40 consecutive days in the divine liturgy, if possible in
a monastery that operates daily. What happens at that time every time the
priest takes out the portion, the little soul for the soul and pours it into the Holy Chalice,
saying, "Lord, wash away the sins of your servants who have been commemorated,
your holy blood becomes an earthquake in Hades." Souls are refreshed, enlightened, and
relieved. It is the greatest offering we can make. The
elder saw with his clairvoyant gift that souls are waiting for
this moment of the divine liturgy. The fifth and last
habit is our own confession. It may seem strange. What does our confession have to do with the soul of the deceased? And yet it has a direct connection. The Saint
explained that for your prayer to be effective, the conduit must be clean. If
we are full of anger, malice, selfishness, or unrepentant sins,
our prayer is weak like water trying to pass through a clogged
pipe. When we confess and cleanse our own soul, then
our prayer becomes fire and light. Then it shoots up to heaven and reaches
its destination. By cleansing ourselves, we essentially help
our deceased. So these are the steps. This is the path that Saint
Porphyrios charted. They are not theories. They are the experience of Saints. They are the reality
that our church has been experiencing for centuries. So what does the soul of the
deceased see when their family follows this path instead of crying in
despair? It sees light.
It does not see the darkness of our mourning pulling it back. It sees that we
truly love them, not selfishly. She sees that we trust Christ that He has her
in His arms and this gives her immense joy. Saint Porphyrios said
to a mother who had lost her child and had begun to live spiritually.
Now your child makes you proud. Now he says to the angels, look at
my mother. Look at the light that comes out of her prayer. This is our love.
You understand the magnitude of the responsibility but also of the blessing we have.
Death is not the end. It is a door. And we hold the keys to
make the passage of our loved one brighter. Do not keep them tied
to the earth with your sorrow. Give them wings with your prayer so that they can fly to
heaven. This is what they ask of us. This is what they expect. And always remember the
words of the Saint. Christ is everything. Where Christ is, there
our loved ones are. If we find Christ, we will find them too. They are not lost. They simply
went ahead. My brothers, if this speech of Saint Porphyrios touched
your heart, if you felt even a little balm for your pain, or if you know
someone who is grieving and needs to hear these words of hope,
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our prayers. Good heavens to our loved ones. Amen.
