Saint Porphyrios,

 From pain. The soul of your loved one stands next to you and

is shaken by your heartbreak. Do you know that Saint Porphyrios, with his unique

gift of insight, revealed a shocking spiritual reality

that your despair does not only hurt you but literally burns the soul

that has just left the body. Today we will open the curtain of the invisible

world. We will see what exactly happens in the first 40 days after a person's death

. How our own reactions affect their path

to the light and how we can, instead of becoming an obstacle, become a bridge to

their rest. If you think that crying is the only proof of love,

get ready to reconsider everything. There is another, stronger path

that the saint taught us and it begins now. When death knocks on the door

of a family, time stops. Logic is paralyzed and emotion

dominates, it is the most difficult moment of human existence. However, Saint

Porphyrios of Kavsokalyvetis, this modern luminary of

Orthodoxy, saw death with eyes completely different from ours. He did not

see it as an end, but as a transition, a transition from the

imperishable to the imperishable. The problem, as he often emphasized, is not the departure of the

soul, but the ignorance of the living about what is really happening in those

crucial hours and days. The Saint explained to us that once the soul leaves the

body, it does not lose its consciousness. On the contrary, consciousness becomes

clearer, sharper and infinitely more sensitive. Think of it as removing

a heavy veil. As long as we are bound to the body, our senses are

limited. But when the body is set aside, the soul

sees and feels everything with an intensity that we cannot imagine.

She sees the angels, she sees the demons, but she also sees us. She sees

her relatives, her children, her parents. And most importantly, she doesn't

just see our faces. She sees our hearts. She sees our spiritual

state and this is exactly where Saint Porphyrios was ringing the

alarm bell. There is a fundamental spiritual principle that we must

understand before we proceed. The spiritual frequency. Just as a radio

is tuned to specific stations, so the soul of the deceased is

tuned to the souls of the people he loved on earth.

This bond is not cut by the knife of death. It remains active, especially

during the first 40 days, where the soul travels to the places it lived

and prepares for the partial judgment. Through this bond

, emotions and spiritual states are transmitted . So here comes the great

revelation of the Saint. When we cry out loud, when we shout, when we are beaten

and refuse to accept the will of God, we emit waves of turmoil, anguish

and uncertainty. These waves hit the soul of the deceased like a storm.

Imagine someone trying to cross a narrow bridge over a

cliff and you behind him shouting and shaking the bridge. This is

what we do with excessive worldly mourning. The Saint said characteristically, the soul

wants to leave, to go to the Lord, to find rest, but our own suffering

holds it back, weighs it down, makes it suffer doubly, it suffers for

its own judgment, but it also suffers for our own pain that it sees and

can no longer comfort us with words. But let us look at a shocking story.

transmitted by the tradition of the Saint's disciples, which illuminates this

truth in a breathtaking way. Once , a woman dressed in black

visited Elder Porphyrios. She was a mother who had lost

her son at a young age, in a sudden accident.

This woman was alive, dead. Months had passed and she spent

most of the day in the cemetery over the grave, crying

and shouting the name of her child. She did not eat, did not sleep and had fallen

into a complete depression, considering that this was the only way to honor the

memory of her son. She believed that if she stopped crying it would be as if

she were forgetting him, as if she were betraying him. Saint Porphyrios looked at her with that

look that pierced the soul and reached to the bone. He did not tell her the

usual words of comfort. He told her something that shook her. Because even in

"Your child," he asked her sternly but also with immense love. The woman was stunned. "

I, the old man," he whispered. "I who give my life on his grave. I who love him

more than myself." Then the saint revealed to her what he saw with

his spiritual eyes. At that moment he said to her, "The soul of your child is

here. I see him. He is standing next to you and trying to speak to you. He is telling you,

mother, please stop. Your pain becomes a fire that engulfs me. You do not

let me move forward. You do not let me rejoice in the light of Christ. Your sadness

is like a fog that suffocates me. I want you to pray for me, not to

despair for you." The woman collapsed not from pain this time,

but from the realization of the truth. The Saint explained to her that what

she called love was in reality a selfish

pain. She was crying for her loss, for her own loneliness, for her own

emptiness. She was not crying for the soul of her child. If she really cared for

his soul, she would do what the soul needs, prayer, alms, the Divine

Liturgy. This incident leads us to the core of the teaching of

Saint Porphyrios on mourning. The Saint made a clear distinction between the sorrow

of the world and the sorrow according to God. The sorrow of the world is what

most of us experience. It is despair. The feeling of injustice, the why to me

, my God, anger, the denial of life. This sorrow, according to the apostle

Paul, but also Saint Porphyrios, works death. It brings spiritual

death to us and difficulty to the soul of the deceased. On the contrary, the sorrow according to

God is the joyful sorrow. It is the pain that has hope in it. It is the

prayer of tears

and not during panic. When we pray for our deceased,

when we say Lord Jesus Christ, rest your servant, then the soul of the

deceased feels coolness. The saint said that prayer is like sending

packages of food and water to a prisoner or to a traveler in

a deserted place. Every Lord have mercy is a drop of

dew that comforts the soul. Imagine the difference. On the one hand,

the soul sees the mother, the father, the husband blaspheming the hour and the

moment they fall ill from sadness. This causes the soul guilt and

sorrow. On the other hand, imagine the soul seeing its beloved

Galenios standing before the icon, lighting the lamp and

saying, "My God, their soul in your hands. We ache because we miss them. But

we trust in your love. This attitude sends light, makes the soul

leap with joy because it feels that its family is safe under the

shelter of God and thus it can itself be left in his arms. Saint

Porphyrios constantly emphasized that we should not be emotional in the

worldly sense, but spiritual. Emotion is unstable and often

blind. The Spirit sees eternity. When we cry hysterically, it is as if we are telling

God you made a mistake. You shouldn't have taken him. I know better than you.

This attitude is blasphemy, even if it is unconscious. And the soul of the deceased, who

now sees God's truth, is clearly frightened by our boldness and

our smallness. In fact, the elder gave very specific instructions. on how

we should behave especially in the first 40 days. He said that this

period is like a period of adjustment and examination. The soul goes

through the so-called customs, is examined for its actions and wanders. In this

critical period. Our own attitude is decisive. Instead of spending

our energy on black clothes and social mourning events that

concern what the world will say, we must all direct our energy to

spiritual support. Let us delve a little deeper into what the saint

called the secret of the 40 days. Many people think that the memorial service is simply

a ceremony to remember the deceased. For Saint Porphyrios, the memorial service and

prayer are a legal and spiritual intervention. He said that God is moved

by the love of the living. When he sees that we who are left behind, instead of

looking at our own well-being, kneel and pray for our departed brother

, then God gives grace to him even when he is asleep. Even if he had not

before he has time to repent fully. Our love becomes his ticket, but

be careful, the love expressed in prayer, not the love expressed in

hysteria. It is shocking to think how great a responsibility we have. We

think we are the victims of death, but in reality

we are the lawyers of the soul. And what kind of lawyer is he who, instead of

defending his client in front of the Cretan, starts screaming and

accusing the court. We lose the case. Saint Porphyrios calls us to

become wise defenders, to turn our tears into incense.

I remember another case that one of his spiritual children had told.

A father died and left behind a daughter who was very close to him.

This girl had fallen into a deep melancholy. The saint called her because,

as is known, he used the telephone a lot to comfort and

guide. And he said to her, "Maria, your father is very well. He is in

the light but he has a complaint." He says to me, "Tell Maria to turn on the light in

her room. The darkness that she has inside hides my view of Christ."

The girl understood, got up, washed, opened the windows, lit the lamp and

began to read the psalter. The next time she spoke to the elder,

he told her happily, "Now indeed. Now your father is smiling.

Now he is really communicating. So you see that communication does not

stop. It simply changes frequency. From physical communication we pass to

spiritual and the means for this communication is not a mobile

phone, nor a photo in a frame, but heartfelt prayer and the divine

service. The Saint insisted a lot on the subject of the divine service. He said that the

day that goes out to the altar for the deceased and enters the

holy chalice, into the blood of Christ, is the greatest benefit

we can do. At that moment, the blood of the Lord washes away sins and

gives rest that no human word can describe. But to

reach this level of spiritual encounter we must overcome

ourselves. We must overcome the worldly mentality that

society has instilled in us. Society tells us to mourn for a long time. Black, shut yourself in your house. Show how much

you hurt. Christ and the saints tell us, "Come, death has been trampled.

Pray. Have mercy in the name of the deceased. Almsgiving is the second

great key after prayer. Saint Porphyrios used to say, "Give a glass of water to

a thirsty person and tell about the soul of so-and-so." At that moment, the angel of the

dead takes this act and takes it to the throne of God as a mitigating factor.

It is terrible if we think about it. We have in our hands the power to

change the situation of our deceased loved ones and we waste it

on tears of despair. The saint does not forbid us to cry. Christ himself

wept for Lazarus, but he wept calmly, silently. He did not scream,

he did not despair. The human tear of pain is acceptable. It is the tear of

despair and unbelief that burns. We must learn to distinguish

between these two. Think of the soul as a small child who has just woken up in an

unfamiliar room. He is looking for something familiar. If he sees his parents are calm and

smile, it calms down too. If he sees them shouting and crying

in panic, the child is terrified. This is exactly how the soul feels. Our calm

is its security. Our trust in God is its compass. And now

you may be wondering, all this is fine, elder, but how can I find the strength to do these things in my pain

, how can I stop crying when my heart

is bleeding? It is a completely logical question. Saint Porphyrios was not a theorist.

He was a practical doctor of souls. That is why he left us specific medicines,

specific practical habits so that we can turn

our mourning from a curse into a blessing. There are five specific spiritual

habits that the Saint suggested for periods of Great Mourning and three

specific points in the home that we must pay attention to in order to

create the appropriate atmosphere of peace that will help both us and the

soul that sees everything. If you follow these steps, you will see

not only will your pain ease, but you will feel an incredible certainty that

your person is well, that he feels you and is grateful to you.

But what are these five steps and what is the biggest mistake

we all make at night before going to sleep, which disturbs

our sleep, but also the soul of our loved one. So let's start with the three

points inside the house. Saint Porphyrios emphasized that our environment affects

our soul and the state of our soul affects the soul of the deceased.

Everything is a communicating vessel. The first point is the iconostasis.

After the death of a loved one, many of us turn the iconostasis

into a photo album of mourning. We put the photo of the deceased in front of the

image of Christ. This is wrong, the elder said. The photo should

be discreetly to the side. Christ and the

Virgin Mary should dominate the center. Because we want our gaze to fall on the risen Lord, on the

source of life and not on the memory of death. When you look at Christ,

you receive hope and send it to the deceased. When you only look at the

photo, you recycle your sadness and send burden, the lamp on the

iconostasis must burn unceasingly. The Saint said that the light of the Candile

symbolizes the light we ask for for the soul of our person. It is a silent

prayer that lasts 24 hours. The second point and perhaps the most crucial

is the bedroom at night. This is where the big mistake I mentioned

earlier occurs. At night when the lights go out and we lie down. It is the time when the

devil attacks us with thoughts of despair.

I will never see him again, how will I live without her. Because my God, these thoughts

in the darkness become black clouds that drown our soul. Saint

Porphyrios was upright. We should never sleep with tears of despair. The

last thought before falling asleep should not be the why but

remembering it. Lord, our pillow should not be watered with tears of complaint but

with tears of prayer. If we sleep with the prayer, Lord Jesus Christ, rest

your servant, then our sleep will also be peaceful. Oh, and the soul of

our loved one will feel a spiritual coolness, a visit of love in the

night. The third point is the place where the deceased was sitting. His armchair

, his desk, his place at the table. Usually, seeing the empty

chair, we collapse. The elder urges us to change our perspective, to

see the empty place not as a void, but as an altar. Well, every time

our gaze falls there and we hurt, let us immediately say, My God, this pain that

I feel now for his absence, make it a balm for his soul. We transform

the object that causes us pain into a tool of salvation. Don't let

his things become museum pieces already. that gather dust and sadness. Use

them or donate them so that they can find a place and become a memorial. So after

we have arranged our space and our nightly mood, we move on to the

five spiritual habits, the medicines that the Saint suggested so that we can heal

ourselves and the deceased can rest. The first habit is the spiritual

breakfast. Before we drink our coffee, before we turn on the TV or the cell phone,

we dedicate the first 5 minutes of the day to them. Not with crying, but with the

rosary. We recite the rosary three times a hundred times, saying

exclusively, "Lord Jesus Christ, rest the soul of your servant."

That's it. The Saint said that morning prayer has great power, because the

mind is still clear. rested and has not been burdened with the worries

of the day. It is as if we send our good morning to heaven in the most

direct way. The second habit is reading the psalm. I mentioned it to you

earlier, but it is important to see how. We do not need to be

theologians. Saint Porphyry advised us to read at least one sitting, a

small section of the psalms of David daily. He said characteristically, the

psalms are the medicine that drives away melancholy and attracts the angels.

When we read the psalter for the repose of the soul, the demons that try

to frighten the soul on its journey to heaven flee.

It is as if we provide spiritual escort, a guard for our person.

And at the same time, David's word sweetens our own aching heart. The

third habit is secret almsgiving. The elder insisted on this very much. To

do something good every day in the name of the deceased, but let no one know about it.

To leave a bag of food for a poor family. To pay for

a grandmother's medicine at the pharmacy. To give water to an animal. and while

we do it, to speak secrets about the soul of my father, my mother,

my child. This act has enormous value because it has no novelty in it.

It is pure love. The saint used to say that these small secret acts are the

diamonds that adorn the robe of the soul in the other world. The fourth

habit is the liturgical life and specifically the forty-day liturgy. It is not

enough to go to a propsal once. Saint Porphyrios emphasized the need,

as soon as a person leaves this life, to write his name so that he may be

commemorated for 40 consecutive days in the divine liturgy, if possible in

a monastery that operates daily. What happens at that time every time the

priest takes out the portion, the little soul for the soul and pours it into the Holy Chalice,

saying, "Lord, wash away the sins of your servants who have been commemorated,

your holy blood becomes an earthquake in Hades." Souls are refreshed, enlightened, and

relieved. It is the greatest offering we can make. The

elder saw with his clairvoyant gift that souls are waiting for

this moment of the divine liturgy. The fifth and last

habit is our own confession. It may seem strange. What does

our confession have to do with the soul of the deceased? And yet it has a direct connection. The Saint

explained that for your prayer to be effective, the conduit must be clean. If

we are full of anger, malice, selfishness, or unrepentant sins,

our prayer is weak like water trying to pass through a clogged

pipe. When we confess and cleanse our own soul, then

our prayer becomes fire and light. Then it shoots up to heaven and reaches

its destination. By cleansing ourselves, we essentially help

our deceased. So these are the steps. This is the path that Saint

Porphyrios charted. They are not theories. They are the experience of Saints. They are the reality

that our church has been experiencing for centuries. So what does the soul of the

deceased see when their family follows this path instead of crying in

despair? It sees light.

It does not see the darkness of our mourning pulling it back. It sees that we

truly love them, not selfishly. She sees that we trust Christ that He has her

in His arms and this gives her immense joy. Saint Porphyrios said

to a mother who had lost her child and had begun to live spiritually.

Now your child makes you proud. Now he says to the angels, look at

my mother. Look at the light that comes out of her prayer. This is our love.

You understand the magnitude of the responsibility but also of the blessing we have.

Death is not the end. It is a door. And we hold the keys to

make the passage of our loved one brighter. Do not keep them tied

to the earth with your sorrow. Give them wings with your prayer so that they can fly to

heaven. This is what they ask of us. This is what they expect. And always remember the

words of the Saint. Christ is everything. Where Christ is, there

our loved ones are. If we find Christ, we will find them too. They are not lost. They simply

went ahead. My brothers, if this speech of Saint Porphyrios touched

your heart, if you felt even a little balm for your pain, or if you know

someone who is grieving and needs to hear these words of hope,

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our prayers. Good heavens to our loved ones. Amen.